Cherry Coke

I haven't really been able to get into any christmas cheer so far this year. I don't know what my problem is. The rule in my house is as it always has been: no chirstmas talk before my birthday, the 4th of december. Generally, following my Scrooge-like anti-christmas stupor prior to the anniversary of my birth, I light up brighter than a Tim Taylor holiday light display (minus the self-electrocution, of course). I have a couple theories.

At first, I thought it was the load of school work that was dampening my enthusiasm for all things Kris Kringle (and by that I mean all things Coca-Cola). My exams began in all of their brain aneurysm-inducing glory about two and a half weeks ago. I won the lottery and happened to have an exam on the second-last day of the exam period, at 7 pm, no less. It could have been worse. I could have been one of those poor schmucks in ANTH 250 that had 7pm the day later. Regardless, I essentially spent 15 consecutive days in my basement, alone, studying. You really haven't experienced lonliness until you've spent 15 consecutive days with Engel's Quantum Chemistry and Spectroscopy. Those guys serving life sentences have no idea how easy they've got it. Molecular orbital diagrams really can be less interactive than watching paint dry. I kid you not. My exams finished monday. Still no christmas cheer.

Christmas really turns some people nuts. If you don't believe me, check out your local mall parking lot anytime between 6 am and midnight. If you're there for more than five minutes and don't get the finger you probably aren't searching for a parking spot. I spent five minutes in a parking lot yesterday and witnessed two almost-collisions, about three middle fingers (none of which were my own), one old lady in a cadillac nearly run down a pedestrian, and a fellow in a Jetta get screwed out of a parking spot only to screw someone else out of a spot his very next time around. All I needed was grandma to jump out the cadillac screaming, "MERRY F------ CHRISTMAS" before disappearing ina cloud of blue-tinted exhaust to complete my disillusion. Tense holiday shoppers showing off their humanity??? Not new this year.

I've had this sinus infection for about five weeks now. Basically I haven't felt healthy for more than six consecutive days since the end of September. My doctor, test results in hand, assures me my immune system is not falling apart and, no, I don't have HIV. Yeah. Generally you have to either get laid, or use needles for that. Enough said. I think I'm on about my fourth set of antobiotics to try and clear this up. So much for modern medicine. It's not a big deal, except that I have this pain in the middle of my face most of the time. I'm pretty sure I could scrape the residue out of one of my reaction flasks, recrytallize it, and knock it back with a carton of milk and achieve the same effect that Bayer claims these antibiotics will have. I'm pretty sure Bayer's CEO would pimp his own daughter if it meant pleasing his investors. Questionable mid-december health?? Been there. Done that.

So, what, then?? Maybe it's just that I'm getting older and the beautifully wrapped packages under the tree no longer hold the same magical mystery they once did. Maybe I'm turning into a grumpy old man at the ripe old age of 22. Whatever. I'm going to a christmas party in about five minutes. Hey, you think they got any cherry coke?